A View from the Valleys

I'm back....kind of

2011-04-14T10:36:00.002+01:00

Yes, I'm blogging (and unemployed again), I think the combined nausea of Labour hypocrisy and the LibDem jellyfish conundrum have woken me from my slumber....but I've moved. If you would like to see my thoughts on the political omnifuckingshambles we're in at the moment you can view me here.

Peace and fucking,
Uncle B.

What's the agenda?

2010-05-30T23:11:00.003+01:00

Not content with wrecking David Laws life (and at who's behest, I wonder?) the Telegraph has turned it's attention on his replacement, Dannyb Alexander and is accusing him of fiddling Capital Gains Tax...except it now transpires that he hasn't and all was above board. Just who is pulling the strings here?

Now personally, if I was Alexander I would be sorely tempted to see the Telegraph get rogered by Carter-Fuck...but that's just me, a vindictive bastard.

New layout and name change

2010-05-23T13:01:00.001+01:00

Experimenting with a new layout for the blog. Things might be a bit screwy until I get it settled.

Cheer up lads...Gordon's gone!

2010-05-22T14:33:00.002+01:00

There's just no pleasing some people. Brown has been removed, Cameron's in number 10, the Tories have gained almost 100 seats in the GE, the coalition actually seems to be working well, the libdem chief Treasury secretary isn't so much dipping his hands in the blood of cuts as positively bathing in it, Cameron's told Merkel and Sarkozy we won't bail out the Euro and we won't give them any further powers...and yet still the right isn't happy.

What is their problem? The likes of Fraser Nelson, Tim Montgomerie et al are acting as if Dave has ordered the sacrifice of their first born. You do understand that this coalition being a success makes it more likely that you'll get a majority next time around. So he cut the balls off the 1922 committee? Good, it has caused nothing but trouble for Tory PM's for decades. Did he have to do it? Yes, or face a David Davis inspired coup in about 2 years.

And remember this, for all the mistakes made during the GE campaign, Cameron and Osborne have made you electable again. No longer is the term 'Tory' a dirty word in vast swathes of the country (Scotland excluded). They've even made you a popular second party in Wales (And I expect to see some big gains at the next assembly election).

So, once and for all, grow up and get on with the business of running the country...or join bloody UKIP if you must. Cameron is your biggest political asset. If you want to throw him under the bus be prepared for the consequences.

Labour's Leadership Shenanigans

2010-05-18T09:18:00.004+01:00

So the only contenders to stand so far are the Chuckle brothers? Cameron must be pissing himself laughing. Can you see either of them laying so much as a glove on him at the despatch box? Can we start a Balls4Leader campaign. Can all you twatterers do a new hashtag. #Balls4Leader

Not that he would stand a hope in hell of improving Labour's position. It would be like Michael Foot without the principles or humanity, but then again, us rightwingers do love a good bloodsport!

A quick suggestion...

2010-05-15T13:50:00.002+01:00

...to all rightwing MP's, Lords, Journos, etc.

When the BBC come calling asking you to appear on Newsnight, Any Questions, et al to discuss the Con-Lib coalition, pretend that you're against it, that it'll split the party, that it won't stop you eating babies, etc. In short, bluff the arse off them, then when you appear on said program you can happily state that it's not that big of a deal, was the only sensible option for the country and that you had to use the ruse of discontent as the state broadcaster has been deliberately trying to shape this story and rubbish the coalition. Sadly Hannan's let the cat out of the bag so he won't be called but hopefully Redwood, Howard and other prominent figures on the right will do and prevent the auntie's little trots from playing silly buggers with the facts.

Let's not be finks for 'the man' and beat the scumbags at their own game.

Peace and Fucking,
Uncle Bob!

Question Time

2010-05-13T22:48:00.001+01:00

A Panel of nutjobs.

And I'll single out Mehdi Hasan. What a complete cock. Get over it, your lot lost!

Today's cabinet appointments.

2010-05-12T23:16:00.004+01:00

Day 1 of the grand coalition and all is well, poverty and disease have been cured, Dave's been voted TIME man of the millenia and it's Barack's turn to do the rather demeaning sycophantic arse-kissing...

...well maybe not quite, but it has been a good start.

Nick Clegg got DPM. His most important role in the administration will be keeping the coalition running smoothly, making sure Cable and Huhne don't go 'off-piste' and to keep the likes of Simon Hughes, Ming Campbell and David Steele from the vicinity of a television camera for the next four years and 11 months,

William Hague got Foreign Secretary and hoefully should lead the FO into a more robust future. Not only in projecting British geo-political interests but also in the return of the great foreign trade mission. It was something we used to be the best in the world at and something that deserves a comeback. We've been buying from the far east for decades...it's time to make them buy british and also start investing here again. His mission is simple yet difficult, make Britain the world's hub again.

The Chancellor's role has fallen on Osborne. It's a pretty thankless task but I'm certain he's up to the job, even if it's the toughest one any British chancellor has ever faced. I'm glad he's adopted the Libdem £10,000 pa tax allowance proposal (Note to our libdem brethren, this wasn't the concession you guys thought. Any Tory worth their salt loved this idea!). The trick is paying for it. George showed early signs of innovation and a radical approach, he'll need to find some great ideas to pay for this and also to deal with the wider deficit. He will be assisted by David Laws as Chief Treasury Secretary, probably one of the libdems idealogically closest to the tories. He also has a background of economics and worked in the city so knows what has to be done and could be useful as a foil for Osborne. He mustn't shy away from being tough on other departments and their budgets.

The Home Office was a surprise. I expected Cameron to throw some redmeat to his right flank and appoint David Davis or even possibly bring back Michael Howard to deal with what has proved to be the graveyard of briefs in recent years. He's instead opted for Theresa May, with not many Women in the cabinet I'm not surprised she's been promoted. She's not spectacular but that's not what the Home Office needs. She doesn't seem to be Gaffe prone (which is what did for Chris Grayling) and is seen as a safe pair of hands. Nevertheless, she will need to get to grips with her brief quickly.

Justice and the Lord Chancellorship has gone to Ken Clarke. The thought of him strolling into the lords in wig and tights is not that pleasant a mental image (and is probably quite a flammable one with Ken's penchant for cigars. As well as prisons, he'll have many constitutional matters to attend to including the big political reforms which will be implemented by this administration so it's probably a good thing to have probably the most experienced government minister about there. And playing Jazz to the lags doing stir might prove to be an effective deterrant!

Business, Banks and Universities has gone to Vince Cable and here I'm a little concerned. Thankfully he's been kept out of the treasury, but his brief will still have an important part to play in our economic recovery. As I said earlier, he shoulp put his head together with Hague and come up with some vital foreign trade missions. Not only securing exports for our businesses but attracting inward investment in GB plc. And as long as he tries not to turn his brief into 'The St. Vince show' everything will be rosy. But the tories don't fully trust him and I suspect neither does Clegg. If he steps out of line expect him to be dropped and flushed away like an errant turd.

Education. Michael Gove. Thank God. His free schools policy was the best thing to come out of the election campaign. Cameron aside, Gove has been the Tories star performer and I expect his star to rise now that he's got a red briefcase to actually implement his life-changing policy. If he wasn't so unfortunately featured he'd be a future PM. Still politics is supposed to rock stardom for ugly people so who knows?

DWP. Iain Duncan Smith. This was the big surprise of the day but certainly from much of the right of centre blogosphere an extremely welcome one. He has worked tirelessly on this field with the Centre for Social Justice since Cameron became leader and have no doubt he'll approach this brief with the same zeal. He does know the department and the reforms needed inside out and I fully expect him to hit the ground running. Alongside Gove's school reforms I expect his work here to be one of the two central pillars on which Cameron's government is defined.

Energy and Environment. Chris Hulne. This post is vital....absolutely crucial to our nation's future. There, hopefully his ego has been sufficiently stoked because if he ballses this one up we'll all be in the shit...and in the dark too. And the energy brief is more important that the environmental brief too. He may need to start ignoring the socks and sandals wing of his party and embracing the harsh realities of energy security. Strangely, he seems to have embraced this coalition in a much easier fashion than I imagined. And if he's fully on board it will make keeping the coalition sailing fowards a bit easier...still a cunt though.

Tory Party Chairman. Sayeeda Warsi. A well deserved reward for the slayer of Griffin. Who'd have thought the party could go from Tebbit to her in 25 years. And for any MP or local conservative association who's thinking of stepping out of line...be afraid...be very afraid. The woman is Tenacious. She is swapping with Comrade Pickles who now having completed his mission of lovebombing Libdems now will be lovebombing the public at large in communities up and down the country...just remember to stock up on pies.

Liam Fox has defence and will hopefully fight to ensure that no longer will our servicemen have to go into battle under equipped.

And as a sidenote with the events of the last 24 hours have these conspired to make Gordon Brown Labour's equivalent to Ted Heath (with the addition of a beard obviously)?

Winners and Losers - Election 2010

2010-05-11T18:37:00.002+01:00

In all walks of life there has to be winners and losers, this is true also in politics. So who made out like Bandits and who are walking away with the consolation prizes?

Politician of the Campaign : 2 weeks in it would have gone to Cleggover, but for his consistency and clarity of message and for being one of the calmest heads in the post election maelstrom, step forward...Michael Gove

Moment of the Campaign : It has to be 'Bigotgate'. Has a moment ever summed up the problem with a party and a particular politician such as this? It might not have had much of a polling impact but it will never be forgotten. If Brown had spoken about my Nan like that he'd have needed a few more people on his close protection team. Poor old Mrs Duffy.

Journalist of the Campaign : Honourable mentions must go to Andrew Neil and Jeff Randall, the two most feared journalists in Broadcasting who always manage to ask the questions the politicians dread. But my award goes to Adam Boulton for finally cutting through New Labours spin, smears and innuendos and exposing people like Bad Al Campbell and Ben Bradshaw for being mendacious bastards.

News Channel of the Campaign : While I enjoyed election night in HD, I'm going to have to plump for GUY NEWS! In what was supposed to be the internet election, this was one of the few net highlights.

Blogger of the Campaign : I have to give it to Guido. He might be mainstream but he still manages to be the most underground blogger around with impeccable sources throughout the whole political sphere. His comment pages tend to make '2 Girls/1 Cup' seem civilised at times but it's his own posts that make him the first blog to load up when you log on every day.

Top Totty of the Campaign : This one was easy. That wee Scottish pixie, Laura Kuennsberg. A winning combination of an accent that makes Uncle Bob go weak at the knees and a very dirty smile (as well as being one of the best 'on the ground' reporters at the moment) means that there's a space for her on (or over!) my knee.

The Big Winners - Obviously Dave Cameron gets a look in, finally achieving what few of us dared to hope for tonight, but my winner is You...and me, helll, the whole country! The Gorgon's gone...finally!

The Big Loser I could have picked Brown, Labour, Blinky's leadership ambitions but instead I've opted for a man who thought he could control everything but turns out he couldn't spin a top anymore...the Dark Lord himself, Baron Mandleson of Foy and Hartlepool, First secretary of state, Business and University Secretary, Spinner Excselsior. His plans are in tatters and he can bother our country no more. Rejoice!

Any minute now!!!!

2010-05-11T15:49:00.001+01:00

It looks like Labour's resolve is crumbling, first Kate Hoey adding to the growing list of labour figures and now John Pienaar claiming No 10 is giving up the ghost. Pop those corks people, it's happening!

Boris, I've already voted mate.

2010-05-06T19:41:00.002+01:00

Nice to see Boris is sending me friendly emails as well as Dave, Eric and George. You can tell he's wrote it himself as well...evoking the memories of Churchill and shoring troop morale ahead of D-Day. But there was really no need, I voted for my local conservative candidate at 10 o'clock this morning. Still, if you're reading this and haven't then bloody well do so.

The only thing I want to see Gordon Brown in charge of tomorrow is farmy farm...and that'll probably end up in an Orwellian coup!

A quick hark back to Labour's halcyon days

2010-05-06T15:32:00.002+01:00

This may very well be my favourite piece of journalism in history. The more I read it the better it gets. Ladies and gentlemen...Sion Simon!

D-Day

2010-05-05T23:15:00.002+01:00

This is usually the point where most bloggers like me will tell you to go out and vote for whichever party they follow tomorrow. I'm just asking that you place a vote for whoever you want, because if you don't you forfeit the right to piss and moan about the government you end up with...

...though if people are still seriously considering voting Labour I think there are good grounds to have them sectioned! Me, I'm voting Tory. As I live in the Rhondda it won't make a blind bit of difference but I can't bring myself to vote for the trots, their welsh language version or the limp dems. UKIP? While I agree with the out of Europe bit I could never bring myself to vote for someone whose first name is Taffy.

I'm still hoping that alongside the blessed castration of Balls (Ed that is!), he will be joined by Chris Huhne and his perfectly pressed trousers.

In fact I'd like to see total Labour annihilation, save Frank Field. Still when we cut the Unions off from the public teat I'm sure Labour will soon go belly-up.

Reality Check

2010-04-20T10:29:00.003+01:00

Reality check, people. If you vote for the libdems on the basis of Clegg-over being able to string more than two sentences together you're going to be in for a big surprise. You see, the libdems have policies...barmy policies...like Not sending burglars, thugs convicted of GBH, etc. to prison if their sentences are under 6 months. Giving prisoners the right to vote. Joining the Euro (and turning into an even larger version of Greece). An amnesty on illegal immigrants. Mansion Tax. Dropping Trident...

...I could go on, but instead I think I'll give you the most important reason not to vote for the libdems. Vote Yellow, get Brown. Quite simple. If you want the most atrocious prime minister in our history to remain in Downing Street then crack on! If not...put the socks and sandals away, shave that beard and replace that organic fairtrade mungbean salad with a nice thick, bloody steak. Be a man (or woman) not a mouse.

The most predictable 90 minutes of my life...

2010-04-15T22:36:00.002+01:00

Clegg gets an exposure boost, comes out reasonably but overdoes the 'plague on both your houses' schtick.

Score: 6/10

Brown, in the words of one 'pber' coming across as, and I quote, 'an overweight camp vampire!' He's too busy trying to lay pointless elephant traps which Cameron is completely ignoring. 2/10 (Because at least he did that funny, smiley, bouncing on his feet thing from the Youtube video)

Cameron came across as reasonable, assured and set out what he wanted to do. He didn't get as much airtime as the others (And ITV need to answer why that was) but he got his points across best in a manner the public would understand. 7/10

It was always going to end up like this. If you're a died in the wool labour voter you've got to fear for the next two debates.

Thanks Postie!

2010-04-13T00:39:00.002+01:00

Well, my polling card arrived today so I'm all set for the 6th, don't think my vote will help overturn a 16,000 majority but it'd be nice to see a decent tory showing in the Rhondda for once. I can't really be bothered to try tactical voting as Labour and Plaid are two cheeks of the same arse and they'd only form a coalition with the red rabble if it came down to it anyway.

Oh, and got my niknaks and tizer in for the debate on Thursday....I don't think I'll be satisfied unless it ends with Brown on his knees pounding the floor with impotent rage screaming 'You're wrong....you're all wrong!'.

Wake me up in a month

2010-04-06T22:58:00.001+01:00

Jesus....day one of the campaign and I'm bored already. Can't we just vote and be done with it!

Great moments in modern history

2010-03-17T23:21:00.002Z

The four minute mile
Breaking the sound barrier
Man's first steps on the Moon
The first league, eoropean cup and FA cup treble

Everyone remembers these magical milestones in man's progress. Well now there is another name to be added to the pantheon alongside luminaries like Bannister, Yeager, Armstrong and Man United. Tony Baldry MP(Con, Banbury) today acheived the unthinkable, nay....the impossible. For the first time at PMQ's Gordon Brown actually answered a question from an opposition MP. And in an even more astonishing act, he got him to admit he was wrong.

Mr Baldry, take a bow son...take a bow.

The moral of today's story is to buy a serious amount of shares in Nokia. Boy, I would hate to be a No.10 Spad right now!

I'm Spartacus!

2010-03-16T23:06:00.005Z

If you're not already aware read this over at Tory Politico. Some jokers in America are trying to force the site to change it's name, fortunately ToryPolitico is not going down without a fight. And as a gesture of solidarity I've changed the name of this blog, maybe temporarily...maybe permanently. I think it'd be nice if more bloggers did the same and really give the septic lawyers a conniption fit.

A little Saturday silliness

2010-03-06T10:11:00.004Z

No pearls of wisdom from me this post, except to recommend that you read this blogpost from Toby Young, who is one of only two people I can be bothered to read in the Telegraph these days alongside Benedict Brogan (Hannan's a little too much of a zealot for my tastes these days, I mean, I like tea as much as anyone...I'm fuelled by the stuff...but I'm not going to throw a party about it!). Young's post is the tale of a young man cruelly spurned and literally made me laugh so much I accidentally spat a half-masticated mouthful of cornflakes over my laptop. The question is...who were the two ministers?

Let's just kill the rich!

2010-03-05T09:00:00.002Z

Martin Luther King once famously said 'I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character '.

Labour cares less about the contents of their character and more about the contents of their current account. Do they really want to dig up party political donors? It's a very large can of worms where Labour is concerned.

And I don't see why they haven't let this story go, Ashcroft hasn't actually broken any law, has he? The Bastard! I do expect something to pop up in the budget regarding non-doms now which is ironic since the Tories are actually fully supportive of that.

Now, who's going to dig into the quagmire that is the Labour party's funding?

Beeb bias....not even hiding it any more

2010-03-01T22:06:00.008Z

Just saw 'Toenails' Robinson on the news...and 'on-message'. A report covered with innacuracies and glossing over the fact that Ashcroft's donations currently account for less than 2% of conservative funding or the labour non-doms who barely got a namecheck even though they (unlike Ashcroft) have directly benefitted after giving their party a donation. And no mentuion of the fact that Brown declined Cameron's offer to rush through a law forcing any sitting member of either chamber in parliament to pay full UK tax on their earnings...but then again, Brown's donors wouldn't like that. Ashcroft to his credit backs Cameron's plan and has said he'll abide by it.

And don't get me started on that hypocritical prick Alan Johnson. Happy to take the union shilling but won't even allow union members a political opt-out. (I very much doubt if even 50% of union members are labour supporters these days). Why should their money go towards a party they don't even support?

UPDATE

Add Jack Straw to the list. The stench of hypocrisy is overwhelming!

UPDATE 2

Michael Gove turning the tables on Newsnight...just beautiful! Kisty Wark squirming!

My God....John Terry can write!

2010-02-25T18:10:00.001Z

Bookies know best

2010-02-22T21:32:00.005Z

So the Tories have slipped to 37% in the latest ICM poll. I guess that means I can get some juicy odds on them getting a majority now then...doesn't it...won't it...hmmm...maybe the bookies (officially the craftiest species of mammal on earth) are trying to tell the panicking masses of politicalbetting.com something. I'm sure the Yougov daily tracker will be interesting over the next couple of days, now that the country's had 'a chance to see the real Gordon', that is.

Bonkers Brown Update

The shares of Nokia are on the rise this week indicating the truth in Rawnsley's bullying claims and with the election fast approaching Uncle Bob has this one marked as a buy alongside Gold over the next six months!

YouGov Daily Tracker Update

2% Gap? People, if you believe that you'll believe anything. Maybe it's just a ruse to get Gordon to go early. I'm putting £50 on a Tory majority now as I know these figures are being fiddled. All it's going to do is make the Tory voters even more certain to turn out. If things are so rosy in the garden why are Labour MP's still dropping like flies in the marginals?

Permit issued for ships sailing to the Falklands

2010-02-17T23:38:00.005Z

President Kirchner of Argentina has decreed that all ship sailing in their territorial waters require a permit issued from the Argentinian authorities. I could harp on about how this contravenes international maritime law but I won't bother. Just show your permit. It looks like this :-

Should this fail to satisfy the Argentinian authority then please request for a mediator to resolve the dispute. They are easily identifiable and look like this :-

and may be seen carrying translation tools like this so that the argentineans can understand the mediators position clearly:-

Now our military may be underfunded, we may have a massive number of troops committed to Afghanistan, but if Argentina thinks it can win a military conflict with the UK then by all means, let them try. We might not be in the best shape now but we're still a nation to be feared militarily and have an unequalled record of combat globally. It wasn't so long ago this little island ruled 80% of the world population and it'll take more than a jumped up posse of latin american chancers to claim our territory.

Who you calling Banker?

2010-02-15T23:57:00.004Z

Facebook. Shite.

I got a facebook offer from a friend to 'become a fan of the Robin Hood tax'. I should have stopped myself, I shouldn't have gone on the page...I went on the page.

What a load of marxist bullshit. I'm afraid I felt compelled to post on the wall (I had to become a fan first though...not that I wished to) and engage some of the blathering idiots in debate (A concept so alien to most of them they went into shock) not that it was a very productive discussion. It'd be easier trying to reason with the Watermelons armed with a full version of the 'hockey stick' graph than actually have a sensible discussion with these cretins. I posted a link to an interesting page on conservativehome about the reasons the tobin tax (To give it it's proper, non-oxymoronic name) was not a sane or credible idea. That was like showing a red (or should that be blue) rag to a rather stupid socialist bull. Suddenly, I was outed as a banker...because all tories are bankers, I had a vested interest (Damn skippy! I don't want the economy to go down the fucking tubes!) and I was a greedy capitalist pig. Maybe I shouldn't have envoked Thatcher as that only seemed to enrage their feeble little minds more. Expect to see the smelly, unwashed little trots marching with their banners around the square mile on May Day.

Kettling's too bloody good for the ungrateful scrotes! Still, Me, Dave and George and all our banker friends will have the last laugh when we reinstitute Debtors prisons and lock the buggers away in a Lord Ashcroft sponsored prison ship (Tax-deductible, naturally!) Rah-rah-rah! We're going to smash the oiks!

Still, hope my braindead friend doesn't read all the ruckus I created. She's far too attractive to get on the wrong side of...

A thought on Newsnight...

2010-02-08T23:10:00.002Z

After watching Newsnight tonight, a thought occurred to me. Ben Bradshaw is one of the most repugnant members of the PLP, in the true spirit of Brown and Balls (I'm sure there's a joke in that somewhere) he is prepared to do and say anything in his desperation to cling to power. So yes, repugnany he certainly is...that leaves Chris Hulne. He's one of the dumbest members of parliament. He's an attack dog alright...too bad he'll end up bighting his own tail.

Another Cameron Poster

2010-02-03T16:34:00.002Z

These are becoming almost as ubiquitous on blogs as the 'Downfall' spoofs.

Get in, Eric!

2010-02-03T15:28:00.004Z

Shamelessly nicked this from Old Holborn, apparently Eric Pickles has sent a letter to the Prime Minister regarding one of his famous 'brownies', this one in particular about his secret slush fund with records kept in an exercise book. Over to our chum Eric :-

The Prime Minister

10, Downing Street
London, SW1A 2AA

3 February 2010

Dear Mr Brown,

At Prime Minister’s Questions today, you told the House of Commons that you knew nothing about the secret fund, worth a reported £50,000, which was held by the Labour Party for your benefit. When asked why you did not declare this on the Register of Members’ Financial Interests (RMFI), you said specifically: ‘I know nothing about what he [the questioner] is talking about.’

This simply cannot be true.

It is clear from Peter Watt, the Labour Party’s former General Secretary, that you were the beneficiary of a secret fund held by the Labour Party. He has said explicitly:

‘Before becoming Prime Minister, Gordon went to some lengths to insulate himself and the Treasury from our financial troubles, setting up his own personal pot of cash at party HQ. This was money we could not dip into, since it was set aside for the Chancellor’s own pet projects. Murray Elder helped secure donations from the Chancellor’s supporters’ (Inside Out, January 2010, page 105).

He went on to claim that it may have been used to finance your ‘long-term campaign to become party leader’ (Inside Out, Peter Watt, 2010, page 105).

Mr Watt’s assertions were widely reported. Indeed, across several pages in the Mail on Sunday, Mr Watt claimed that you used ‘up to £50,000-a-year of Labour money to pay for private polling’ (Mail on Sunday, 17 January 2010).

The allegations were explicitly confirmed as truthful by a Labour official who said in the same article: ‘It [the fund] was funded through donations to the Party.’

In the light of these allegations, my colleague, Greg Hands MP, wrote to you more than two weeks ago, on 17 January, to query why you had failed to declare the fund properly the Register of Members’ Financial Interests. This letter was publicised in several newspapers on 18 January.

As you did not respond, Greg Hands submitted a complaint to John Lyon, the Parliamentary Commissioner this week. I attach a copy of this complaint for your reference. Again, this complaint was reported.

Yesterday in a speech titled ‘Transforming Politics’, you said that you would ‘do all that is necessary to restore trust’ in politics and the conduct of MPs. If you wish to restore trust in politics, you should stop treating people like fools by claiming that you were unaware of this fund when all the evidence points to the contrary. I therefore urge you to admit to this fund’s existence, apologise for misleading the House and co-operate with any inquiries that John Lyon may wish to make.

Yours sincerely,

Eric Pickles
Chairman, The Conservative Party
Member of Parliament for Brentwood and Ongar

UPDATE

Liam Fox has just issued a press release, apparently the slushfund 'brownie' wasn't the only instance of him misleading Parliament during PMQ's (No shit, sherlock). When he droned on (and on...and on) about the Tories planning to cut the defense budget by £1.5 billion in the 2005 GE manifesto, it actually turns out they made a pledge to increase spending on frontline defense spending (You know, the ones who have been shot at constantly and are not equipped to their requirements) by £2.7 billion.

The question is will 'Smeagol' the Squeaker of the house call him to make an apology to the house before the next PMQ's? Don't hold your breath.

Two can play at that game!

2010-01-23T14:06:00.005Z

The leftwing zealots' obsession with the Cameron poster has even outweighed my Keeley Hawes fixation (Mmn....yes Bolly!) but enough's enough. It's my turn commies!

And yes, this is clear evidence I've spent too much time lurking on political betting.com

There's no debate over who would win the debates.

2010-01-10T10:10:00.003Z

I've just watched Cameron's interview on the Andrew Marr show and the stark contrast between the Leaders is blatant. Marr tried to be stronger than he was against Brown and was repeatedly looking to catch Cameron out but got nothing. But not through a lack of answering. 'Dave' answered each question directly and supplemented each answer with the reasoning behind it. The things I most took from the interview was

* No unfunded tax-breaks (And with the economy in this state, that's understandable)
* Cutting government spending should not affect Private Sector growth (Another Brown lie nailed)
* Ashcroft. Cameron wants every MP and peer to be legally required to pay tax in the UK. If the government wats to do this, he will assist them in rushing it through parliament. If they don't, the conservatives will after the GE. He's told Ashcroft. Ashcroft happy to agree. Cameron's killed this one stone dead. (Wish someone at CCHQ had done it sooner though!)
* He does want to reduce the defecit faster than Labours 1/2 in 4 years)
* Small businesses and entrepeneurs to be given a boost through a slashing of beauraucratic redtape that hampers them from starting up quickly.
* Europe. He wants to reclaim back some powers from Brussels. If they want to fight over it, they'll get one.
* Immigration. A real cap on immigration levels each year based on the country's requirements.
* Airbrushgate. Mrs Cameron wants a refund!

How anyone in the Labour Party thinks Gordon is going to out-debate him is beyond me. Brown won't be able to rely on parliamentary procedure and Smeagol's acquiescence there. Cameron will nail his lies and if Clegg has any sense so will he.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Tennant.

Labour wars : The Rebels Strike Back!

2010-01-06T12:52:00.002Z

Is it going to happen...or is it going to be another pricktease. Just get on with it FFS!

UPDATE

It's petered out, though strangely many of the cabinet took their time in drafting the weakest messages of support in the history of the English language.

And 'Toenails' Robinson has really put the cat amongst the pigeons by naming the six cabinet ministers prepared to walk 'in the right circumstances'. This story now ha legs. Was Robinson's nose put out of joint by the blogosphere catching him with his pants down again and decided to justify his status? His BBC masters will not be amused. The rest of us are delighted though!

Class war: What is it good for?

2009-12-28T23:13:00.002Z

So it,s official, Labour are not going to engage in class warfare...erm, someone may want to explain what that means to Brown, Balls and Johnson. I hope they do go for it in the election campaign. It'll be delicious watching it backfire!

Climatechange : The last post

2009-12-23T18:56:00.003Z

The climate certainly has changed recently...to bloody freezing. But I suppose all this snow and ice is an effect of globalwarming. I bet all the 'watermelons' have turned the central heating up a notch...the bloody hypocrites.

Here's one sensible proposal on climate change

2009-12-16T11:03:00.002Z

Let's have a full and transparent public enquiry on anthropogenic global warming (or the lack thereof) before the United Kingdom commits any more funding or resources to stopping it. Simple, straightforward and if the watermelons are so certain their science is sound they have nothing to lose but everything to gain. It's a genius idea...which unsurprisingly means I didn't come up with it. If you think that sounds fair (And I'm sure the 'deniers' and skeptics are more than happy to have their assertions scrutinised in the public domain) then sign this petition. I know it won't get anywhere, that Brown will just produce a mealy-mouthed reply like when we told him to piss off but it'll let the politicians know that the public are not in the mood for this bullshit any longer.

Congratulations to an inspirational figure

2009-12-13T22:25:00.001Z

Hearty congratulations to Ryan Giggs on winning the BBC sports personality of the year award. It's not surprising though. In a sport where rivalry between fans often gets the better of them it's rare to find a player that is loved universally, not just by his own fans but by his opponents as well. And it's nice to see that after all he's won in his glittering career that he was still humbled when receiving the award. Only a knighthood (and a few more leagues and European cups!) to go. Yoga bonito Giggsy!

The planet earth and it's climate

2009-12-13T16:52:00.003Z

I was not familiar with Lord Monkton before I saw this clip on The very excellent 'Plato says' but did enjoy it quite thoroughly. I did feel sorry for the poor woman though, she looked crestfallen as the AGW crutch she'd constructed in her mind crumbled before her.

Plato's had a number of excellent posts on all the copenhagen crap over the last couple of days. Here's the infamous hockey stick graph put into historical context too. I doff my cap to her excellent information gathering skills.

Labour prepares for snap election with new poster.

2009-12-13T16:06:00.001Z

A picture speaks a thousand words...

Flying Pigs.

2009-12-12T10:00:00.003Z

I'm shocked, you're shocked, he was probably shocked himself when he did it.

Tony Blair (A man with a genetic resistance to pentathol and all other 'truth' drugs) HAS TOLD THE TRUTH! Shocking, isn't it...I'm going to lie down in a darkened room.

PS. Hell has now frozen over.

Slowly turning ever more skeptic

2009-12-11T01:08:00.002Z

I 'vehemently' think Nick Cohen was talking out of his arse about climate change tonight.

Portillo was right on the money and Brillo clearly can't wait for warming to begin so that he can work on his winter tan.

A quick one before beddy byes

2009-12-09T23:45:00.004Z

God the Irish are annoying. With their craic, false bonhomie and belief that they are somehow the most entertaining nation on the planet (Which is bollocks...as there is nothing funnier than watching a frenchman throw an arm-waving hissy fit!) and all the other smug bullshit that comes with the territory.

For the record, your food is basically British food with added blandness and none of the spice we've inherited from our empire days, your accent is indecipherable at times, your women, though striking me with a deep and unholy lust are far too frigid (and always seem to have a big brother hanging around to ward off cads like myself!) and don't even get me started on riverdance, rebel songs, Bono (Ireland have only produced 3 great bands...and he isn't in one of them!), pub violinists and overpriced stout.

But what's this, taking steps to deal with their defecit, cutting public spending by 7% after seeing a 7.5% decline in their GDP? What's the bet they'll recover far quicker than us as well....smug bastards!

Blanchflower: Rogered senseless!

2009-12-08T22:47:00.002Z

Quite enjoyable on Newsnight, David Blanchflower has been taken roughly over a barrel by Nigel Lawson and Gerry Robinson. Would I rather take the opinion of a professor who deals in theories on economics or a man who managed the nation's economy and another man who has been a success in business.

Thoseb who can, do.... those who can't, teach.

No wonder Mervyn King was glad to be shot of him.

The public sector propping up our GDP figures is a false economy. Only private sector growth will avert us from disaster. That's why the Tory aim to reduce corporation tax significantly is a smart tax cut as it'll add businesses seeking to move here, create more jobs, reduce the Social Security budget, all for a negligible fall in tax revenue. I think we've tested the merits of tax and spend socialism to it's limits. It's time for a smarter approach.

A sunday morning surprise

2009-12-06T09:27:00.002Z

Well there was me thinking the only good thing I'd sse on the Andre Marr show was Ray Davies singing Waterloo Sunset. Well, thankfully George Osborne popped up with a brucey bonus. Not that he introduced an exciting new policy or came up with any pithy soundbites.

No, it was a serious interview, not downbeat, but filled with a healthy dollop of commmon sense.

I'm watching the start of Darling's interview. Expect plenty of bombastic bullshit about how Labour will put our country on top.

Wave the white flag

2009-11-16T23:03:00.002Z

So Gordon's signalled there's going to be a time table for withdrawal in Afghanistan setup in January. This is of course complete bullshit and another one of Brown's pathetic 'dividing lines' (and probably trying to cosy up to the libdems in a potential hung parliament situation).

Of course, like all of his famous dividing lines, Brown finds himself squarely on the wrong side. If we start to pull out now, we are admitting defeat, all our soldiers deaths will have been for nothing, Afghanistan will fall into the talibans hands and consequently so will much of Pakistan.

Or we could go the other way, take the fight to the talib. If you want to win the peace you have to win the war. All the nation building nonsense can wait until the opposition has been smashed. And yes, those helicopters next year will be nice Gord, they would have been nicer a couple of years back...y'know, when they were asked for.

The politics of the possible

2009-11-16T22:06:00.002Z

Forgive me dear blogreaders, for I have sinned...it has been 12 days since my last blogpost.

But I've had a good excuse with a combination of hardwork and some worldclass carousing taking place (I would divulge bet a gentleman never tells!). But also, I haven't been sure what to write about. Though slowly but surely a thought has been worming it's way into my brain. I read an interview with Cameron a few weeks ago when he said something that struck a chord in me. He said the biggest thing that spurred him on was the fear of failure, not the wide eyed optimism of Blair or more recently the 'audacity of hope' of THE ONE (tm). And not the inate belief in one's own genius like the terribly ill-suited leader of UK plc we have at present. And I realised something. He was bloody right...again (Funny how that keeps happening). I don't want a leader who thinks he (and only He!) can save the world or that he knows better than everyone else. I want a leader who thinks things through, who questions whether a decision is going to come back to haunt him, who doesn't rely on blind faith. I want a leader who wants to deal in the achievable, who will work hard for his successes but work equally hard to minimise the losses. Someone who doesn't believe in pipedreams but is happy living in reality. I want the politics of the possible...I want David Cameron (But not in a gay way).

PS.

Anyone who hasn't seen it yet, this is the excellent Cinema trailer from the TPA highlighting the phenomenal waste in th EU system. Anyone who wants to see Britain leave the EU take note...it is the economic argument that will decide it (The country doesn't give a monkeys about the social agenda there), so get your bleeding calculators out and prove your case.

Go...allez...Los!

2009-11-04T22:11:00.002Z

Like all the other 70,000+ people who signed the petition to get the Prime Minister to resign I received an e-mail today with No. 10's response

The Prime Minister is completely focussed on restoring the economy, getting people back to work and improving standards in public services. As the Prime Minister has consistently said, he is determined to build a stronger, fairer, better Britain for all.

Nice try (Though seriously deluded!) but we didn't ask that. All we asked was that you kindly go..leave...take a running jump. Now stop fucking about and leave...Pergi....Sayonara!

Euroscepticism with a dose of reality.

2009-11-03T19:01:00.002Z

'Cameron lied to us on the Lisbon referendum'

They promised...we must have our say!'

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I'm a Eurosceptic. I want to trade with Europe, I just don't want them to tell me what to do (One unelected dictator is enough for anyone). But harping on about having a referendum will be pointless. By the time a conservative government takes power this treaty will have been in force for months. So what is the point in having a referendum on a Treaty that cannot be un-ratified? Have we really got the cash to waste on such a pyrrhic gesture? Now there are those of you who are of the better off out persuasion who want a referendum on being in the EU altogether. Now I wouldn't entirely be opposed to this but what you guys need to is make the economic argument for this. Now, how much would we lose in trade from EU countries? Our biggest trade partners in th EEC area are Holland, The Icelandics and the bog stompers to the west. Could this trading loss be made up by reaching an agreement with NAFTA and re-establishing our trade with the commonwealth (EU rules prevent us from using our historic advantage here)? If we went would the Irish follow? These are the questions that need to be answered.

But Cameron and HAgue are taking the right approach for now, they can't stop a treaty already in existence but they can fight to repatriate powers. But if the economic argument proved to be beneficial they'd drop the EU like a bucket of rancid shit. So find these figures, make the succesful argument. You'll be surprised how much Europe will concede to us if they thought they were in line for a 'spanish archer'. Who else is going to stop a Russian expanionist push this century when resources become scarce? The Germans, Italians, French (stop sniggering at the back!)? Never forget, they need us far more than we'll ever need them and we'll do alright.

A conservative government's first order of business should be getting the rebate back. And then they should move on from there.

In praise of moneygrabbing capitalism

2009-11-01T12:06:00.003Z

Hail, fellow bloggers. I know posting has been a little light on this front lately. I've been busy with my new job for the last month and that's the reason behind this post.

I'm a believer in free market economics. I believe that if you work hard and are succesful, you should be justly rewarded. Thank the maker that my managing director feels the same way!

I'm a numismatist (trader of rare and collectible coins if you don't know the term), I sell everything from Sovereigns, to Guineas, Unites, Krugerrands, to coins dating back to ancient greece. I've only been doing it from the end of September but I've been extremely successful and owing to having a wide historical knowledge have built up a good rapport and reputation with a number of clients. Now my boss is a smart man. When I make money, he makes money...and he likes to make money. With this in mind, he's offered me a quick promotion moving to another team that specialises in supplying the higher-end of the coin collecting spectrum to really serious collectors. Why is he doing this, to maximise his return of course. I will see the commission I make increase fourfold for every pound a customer spends and he in turn will also see increased profits. A win-win situation for both...but an ethos totally at odds with Labour's politics of envy. Surely for the country having someone like me working hard and making cash off my own skills and knowledge is better than having someone who is forced to stay on the dole because they're better off than if they worked a low-wage job. Touch wood that we'll get a government at the next election who appreciates succesful endeavour and will seek to promote it.

And me? I was going to have a bottle of sparkling Cava on ice to toast Labour's demise at the election. Given my new situation I may make it a bottle of Pol Roger Winston Churchill and I'm sure the old dog would have approved heartily!

Jesus H Corbett....

2009-10-29T23:21:00.002Z

...John Sergeant is a bit of a twat. And a thick one at that. Cutting public spending will do bugger all to the private sector. Reduce that spending enough and the private sector can get a bit of tax wiggleroom to grow. And a strong private sector is the only thing that's going to restore our economy.

Another day, another Labour U-turn

2009-10-27T23:08:00.002Z

So The TA are not going to get any cuts at all. Quelle surprise, this is the most spineless government in history.

Yum yum

2009-10-26T23:22:00.003Z

Abyone else find Susie Squire enticing? Sexy as hell, smart as a whip and she's trying to cut my taxes. I think I'm in love!

Smearsville

2009-10-26T22:52:00.004Z

Just been watching my local MP Chris Bryant launching more tory Euro smears in several childish outbursts on Newsnight like a monkey throwing shit in the zoo. So I'm composing an email to express my dismay at his and his Master Milliband's constant smears on members of the ECR grouping in brussels (It's even led to complaints from the Latvian ambassador as their government is furious at the way Labour are seeking to portray them). I'm also going to ask him why Labour sees fit to criticise the Tory partners when their own group contains some of the most loathsome members of the european parliament (Physician, heal thyself!). If anyone can give me some of the details on these partners to include in the email, I'd be grateful. Once sent I will publish what I've emailed to him and will also post the reply up on here for your perusal, I'm expecting more bollocks and if he decides to bullshit me I'll get it printed in the local paper too (One of the benefits of having a journalist for a friend aside from an always willing drinking partner). So help a brother blogger out and lets shut up Pantsman once and for all.

And if you've just eaten, my apologies for the pic!

Can it be true?

2009-10-20T23:28:00.002+01:00

After all these years can it be true? Have I finally found a job that contains elements of callcentre work with sales and does not suck big sweaty balls?

My god, it's a revelation! For those of you curious (and those of you who aren't might as well bugger off now) I'm selling collectable and rare coins and bizzarely Gordon Brown is doing me a favour. As he's wrecked the economy so badly every collector is diving into gold, I can't get hold of enough gold sovereigns and guineas to meet the demand. And judging from the mood of a lot of my customer's, especially the ones who spend serious money they seem to think gold is going to continue ever upward for a while...sweet, sweet commission!

#welovehmrc?!?

2009-10-17T13:07:00.003+01:00

Now normally I'm not a fan of the mouth-breathing knucled-dragging parasites at Her Maj's revenue & customs but....upon hearing that they have decided to investigate 27 troughers of parliament it brough a wry smile to my face. Now I don't twitter, like Dave C I don't want to make a twat of myself (not in 140 characters or less at any rate). But for those of you who do, may I suggest the following hashtag #welovehmrc just so they know they have our support as they truly are the most devious moneygrabbing bastards in the world (Well, after the MP's that is). Maybe solving the national debt won't be so difficult after all, just grab a 'flipper' and shake him (or her) upside down by the ankles until the loose change falls out.

Don't ever forget, this is our money they stole...and we want it back!

My god! The Beeb being balanced?

2009-10-14T15:28:00.004+01:00

The other side of the climate change coin.

Not something I ever thought I'd see on the beeb. Now I'm not claiming either side is right...I'm not an expert in climatology but surely all avenues should be explored.

At least it'll shock the socks and sandals brigade into silence for a few seconds.

How's about paying a little bit more back Gordon?

2009-10-13T21:03:00.003+01:00

Ah, to have the internet back once again. Glorious. Hat-tip to the cool bods at Sky for fixing BT's bollocks-up. Though I am going to lay into one of their subscribers now.

You've probably heard about Gordon Brown having to pay back £12k plus for excess gardening and cleaning expenses. My question is why is he getting away with having Joe Public fund his monthly sky sports subscription? I can just about accept an MP having a need to see the news channels but sky sports? How is that necessary for an MP to do his job? Besides, he's a Raith Rovers fan, the last time they were on TV Rupert Murdoch was in short trousers and Godzilla was a lizard. Time to open that wallet again Gordon.

A world without the internet...

2009-10-04T20:03:00.002+01:00

...just isn't worth living. Sorry if it's been a tad light on the posting front over the last few days. BT (Bastard Telecom) managed to get my broadband disconnected by their incompetence even though I am not nor have ever been a member of BT broadband. And with the whole debacle I've found OFCOM to be as much use as a chocolate teapot too! So have paid a visit to my sister to get my blogging fix.

On the politics front thought Marr was laughable. Do I really give a monkeys if the Cameron's are worth 30 million quid? Fair do's I say. And I think Millipede Snr's refusal to apologise over his euro smears is quite loathsome. You expect better from one of the government's most senior ministers.

Might be off for a few more days so adieu mon amis.

Don't hate, Harriet...appreciate!

2009-09-29T23:52:00.003+01:00

Mad Hattie Harpie's big speech is tomorrow. She probably wants to cut my cock off...and every other man in the country's too. Still, I'm not going down without a fight! But rather than post the same old 'Worm that Turned' youtube clips I thought I'd do something that'd really get her goat. So here goes :-

Shoot me now!

2009-09-29T22:03:00.002+01:00

This is one hour of my life I can't get back. Click on it at your peril.

Quite liked the idea of putting all the slutty young girls who can't keep their legs shuts in one place...it makes them easier for me to find, Ding Dong!

A river in Egypt? De nial!

2009-09-28T22:54:00.002+01:00

Paxo doesn't seem in the mood for Labour's shit today, but still they keep shovelling it.

And Gordon's going to agree to the debates. Might have been good for him if he'd agreed a month ago.

Possible name changing conundrum

2009-09-28T18:53:00.003+01:00

Uncle Bob had a job interview today and was subsequently offered said job which I readily agreed to. Now the problem is do I change the name of my blog? Decisions, decisions...

It isn't particularly well paid but it's better than sitting on your arse watching the labour conference. And with this new found employment it got me thinking...the one good thing I remember from the Libdem farce last week was when Saint Cable of Tango, Crashfinder pursuivant, suggested raising the persona tax allowance to £10,000. What I wouldn't give for George O to take it on board. How would he pay for it? Abolish tax credits (I am dreading the myriad of paperwork and chasing I'm going to have to do for this!) and raise the basic rate by a couple of pennies. It is the best idea Cable's had in a long while.

Getting a bit repetitive isn't it?

2009-09-28T13:13:00.003+01:00

All I'm hearing in this turd of a conference is 'tories=evil, savage tory cuts, etc.' How's about you talk about what you are about Labour?

If you're finding it a bit dull here is something to perk you up a bit.

Update

Conference bingo update! Our troops are best equipped (?)....Barack Obama (The One!!!)...HOUSE!

And so it begins....

2009-09-27T14:06:00.006+01:00

Christ, the rumours were true...it is half empty in Brighton. This is going to be hilarious to watch. Pass the popcorn!

PS. I've already marked four off in conference bingo...comrades, do nothing, Maggie Thatcher and tory cuts, eyes down for a full house!

UPDATE

Peter Hain has started the smearing.

UPDATE II

I've been watching for a few hours now and boy, it's dull. And as I said before, this conference is all about Cameron and the Tories. Labour and Brown are barely getting a mention.

To quote his former boss...Weak! Weak! Weak!

2009-09-27T10:33:00.002+01:00

Did anybody else get up to watch the Andrew Marr show and his interview with Gordon Brown? I'm not going to mince my words, what a load of old horse-shit!

How do you solve a problem like the BNP?

2009-09-26T23:27:00.003+01:00

This post is little more than linkwhoring to this excellent post over at Coffeehouse by Fraser Nelson.

It explains a lot of the reasons why the mainstream parties are experiencing such difficulties dealing with Griffin and his party and the best ways to take them on. Certainly I think the left have been the biggest cause of the problem, shouting them down and screaming 'racist, racist!' has not been a successful tactic and has only led to their own natural supporters becoming disillusioned and switching to BNP. He also points out that for all the press coverage and handwringing by mainstream politicians they haven't been very succesful because deep down, Britain's the most comfortable multi-cultural country there is.

The issues that are causing people to vote for the BNP now isn't racism but immigration (and before anyone bitches it isn't the same thing). But anytime a politician mentions immigration they are automatically accused of playing the race card (unless it's a labour politician, there's nowt like double standards!). Michael Heseltine was shouted down on Question Time for suggesting that the people waiting to cross Calais to get here were 'economic migrants'. It's plainly obvious that the vast majority of them are. If they were purely seeking asylum then they could have done it in France or one of the multitude of other EU countries on the way. No, they try to come here because we are a soft touch, with free housing and handouts more genorous than they will get anywhere else. To suggest otherwise is complete bollocks. And this is what is the grist to the BNP's mill.

Fraser also queried who would be a good person to take Griffin to task on Question Time. I'd suggest the tory invite goes to John Redwood. He's a very straight talking politician who would deal with the immigration issue without trying to fudge it...and he would completely destroy the feasibility of any of the BNP's other so-called policies which are further to the left than Dennis Skinner (Expect maybe the EU, it's probably the only thing he'd agree with them on...though I'm sure his argument would be far more coherent.).

And so the funeral begins

2009-09-26T15:23:00.002+01:00

Yes folks, the labour conference is to commence this weekend and the stench of death is thick in the air, of course Mandelson, Campbell et al will be doing their utmost to engineer talk of a 'Brown Triumph' in the media when 'He delivers the speech of his life'...again. Charlie 'Walrus' Clarke will be bound and gagged until conference end and all other dissenters will be forcibly ejected from the venue by government stormtroopers...again. Brown will probably announce his decision to agree to a leader debate but Cameron, yet again proving he's 10 steps ahead of Brown has already nullified this moment by calling Brown out on it again this moment. If he declines he's a coward, if he accepts it's because Cameron has dragged him to the debating chamber kicking and screaming. Dithering, a double edged sword. Of course he could always surprise everyone and call an election. But that would require an act of courage, though he should at least know what the word means having written books on the topic.

Charlie says 'Do one, nonce!'

2009-09-25T14:07:00.000+01:00

Hat-tip to HenryNorthLondon for this. I love viral videos!

Question Time

2009-09-24T22:53:00.002+01:00

'You are a politician, you are supposed to have an opinion!'

Get in, Tarzan! Digby Jones seems to be on good form as well.

UPDATE

Well, maybe Heseltine peaked a little early. Thought Nelson Fraser was strong in his usual understated way and thought Libdem David Laws came across well. You could tell Mad Hattie was working hard to restrain her inner harpie.

Poor little Jimmy G Brown

2009-09-24T14:54:00.004+01:00

We've all had it...that moment when the one you love the most decides you're a complete loser and gives you the spanish archer. It starts with a big argument (libyagate), then you end it in acrimonious phonecall that gets out amongst your acquaintances (Even though you pretend the conversation was 'warm and amicable') and then they choose to snub you when you are at the same social event with friends when you try to go for a reconciliation (Though, people usually take the hint the first time. 5 attempts is almost the work of a stalker!). Desperation is a stinky cologne.

How said for wee Jimmy Brown...'The One (tm)' has forsaken him and is probably playing footsie with the French midget and 'Bristols' Merkel. And now the british press are having a field day, laughing at the smelly kid on the back of the bus that no-one wants to play with. 'Walrus' Clarke, the big hairy bully is waiting to beat him up and steal his pocket money when he gets back to school as well. What is a boy to do? He almost wishes he could quit and never go back....hmm, now there's an idea. Unfortunately Headmaster Mandleson has written him a speech he has to deliver in assembly in front of all the other remedial students first, it's a tough life.

Maybe I'm missing something

2009-09-22T22:47:00.003+01:00

Can someone explain to me how Baroness Scotland is still in her job as Attorney general. She is guilty of employing an illegal immigrant. She broke the law, she cannot plead ignorance as this is a law that she implemented yet still she hangs on with no concept of honourably resigning due to what was an avoidable mistake and Gordon Brown won't sack her. This is another sign of his terminal weakness. It has also been suggested that he's reluctant to give her the axe as she's a woman from an ethnic minority. So let me get this straight....if she was a white man it'd be fine to give her the heave ho? The misogynistic, racist bastards. I can't wait for the Labour conference, I can smell the stench of death on them already.

Arrrgh! My neck!

2009-09-18T11:32:00.003+01:00

So here it goes.

* 'Labour investment vs Tory cuts'
* 'Lansley just admitted it....'
* 'Mr 10%'
* 'Public spending will increase....because it's the right thing to do.'
* '0% Growth'

All fine and dandy, so I take it Labour are not cutting spending, you wouldn't lie to us, would you Gordon? But wait, just a couple of days ago...

* 'We will have to make some difficult decisions'
* 'Wise spending, not big spending...and we won't enjoy doing it, unlike those baby-eating Tories!'
* 'Alright, I'll bloody say it, we'll have to cut. We don't want to. I watched that credit crunch documentary on the BBC last night and it's all Thatcher's fault really'
* 'Alastair Darling will discuss with Cabinet colleagues on what proposed cuts can be made so that all of them have blood on their hands...'

Screeech! Jesus, they've slammed the brakes on and gone into reverse so quicly I've got whiplash!

'We're doing it so that the Tories will then come under pressure to set out their own plans.'

So it's just more Labour games, bloody typical.

WTF? Scientology?

2009-09-17T00:04:00.003+01:00

I let GoogleAds run on the site in the vain hope that one day I'd have enough visitors to make some cash out of it (I'm up to about 90p at the moment!) but tonight I spotted the weirdest thing. Why on earth is scientology.org advertising on here? What about my posts made those fruitloops think it was a good idea when I and my readers tend to be independantly minded people with a healthy libertarian slant? I can't see them brainwashing too many of my readership into handing over vast quantities of their own money so that we can get more Thetans in our systems or whatever shit they believe (Don't they know there's a bloody recession on?). Besides, if I can avoid Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism (Nice guys, but I'm never going to become a vegetarian and orange just isn't my colour!), etc. what makes them think I'm going to buy into L. Ron Hubbard's fraudulent theological pyramid scheme? They'll probably send one of their little drones here to bleat about me disparaging them but they forget one thing...I'm a rightwing welsh blogger. I have to put up with drivel from Labour and Plaid every day, a bunch of aliens is a walk in the park compared to those frauds! And I think I've a bit more mental togetherness than this guy :-

What are the beeb doing?

2009-09-16T22:34:00.004+01:00

So tonight's big story on Newsnight isn't the leaked Treasury document, it isn't the social justice report from IDS, it wasn't even another quarter of appalling unemployment figures...no, it was a waste dumping story in the Ivory Coast. No wonder people are bypassing the BBC for their news and relying on blogs. And newsflash BBC...most of us are probably just as biased as you but from the other end of the spectrum, why not meet in the middle and be the impartial news source you apparently used to be (though in my 30 years I struggle to recall a time when you didn't have a leftwing agenda.).

UPDATE

At least they have actually mentioned the unemployment figures. The communication workers union boss is a slimy shit. Let him strike if he wants too, privatise by the Royal Mail. And as for Jim Knight, he's in cloud cuckoo land. And why no Tory or Liberal to counter his bullshit? The unemployed man on there outdebated the pair of them, hopefully he get's a job soon.

And now they're turning the Treasury leak on the Tories because they won't write an emergency budget 8 months before the GE. Name any politician who would ever do that?

Nice to watch Fraser Nelson catch Brown hook, line and sinker again though.

It's been a while,,,Downfall!

2009-09-16T14:55:00.002+01:00

Last night in a comment on Denverstrope (Click on the blog limk on the right) I said that Attack video's would be rubbish unless they were as good as the Downfall parodies. Well thanks to Gordon Clown commenting on Old Holborn's page, I've found the best one of all from 2008's Glasgow East election...enjoy!

The new prince of Darkness?

2009-09-16T13:12:00.004+01:00

"Ow mush! Who are you calling posh?"

The big political story today (other than another round of depressing unemployment figures) is the leaked Treasury document released by George Osborne showing 9.3% cuts in government spending planned up until 2013/14. He's sat on that document for five months (His patience is admirable) and could have released the document at any time but waited...and waited...and waited. waited until the argument over spending cuts was comprehensively won by himself and his party and then he dropped this statistical hand grenade, showing that the Treasury was planning these cuts all along, that Brown not only lied to the press, but comprehensively lied repeatedly to the House of Commons during PMQ's. Now, it's not a shock to anyone that Brown was lying, we all knew that anyway but to have the smoking revolver here ratchets up the pressure on a prime minister that is already seriously ailing after the worst year of his political career and one day after Brown relaunch no. 354. It is a piece of political skill that Machiavelli would be proud of...and yes, I do consider that to be complimentary.

Why have I just dubbed him the new Prince of Darkness? Well he has quietly and effectively gone about systematically setting traps for Labour to fall into. Mandleson himself had recognised the political savvy and instincts of Osborne a year ago and that's why he tried to bury him over that holiday in Corfu. It was the master and the apprentice sparring to see who would be topdog. Mandelson outmanouvered him then (with the aid of a supine media) but wasn't able to kill him off, the younger man staggered away and tended to his political wounds. But has waited and bided his time. That's the last victory Mandelson won, since then he has been reduced to propping up the most unpopular prime minister the country has seen and the press are no longer prepared to do his bidding. Meanwhile Osborne has been flying under the radar largely just popping out from time to time testing his lure and waiting for Brown & Co to bite. And boy, have they bit.

Mission accomplished, Osborne will never be the most popular member of a Cameron government with the public, he knows it and accepts it, his job is to give Cameron the bullets to win the political war, but he will be influential, as influential as Brown was to Blair, but unlike that ill-matched duo, Cameron and Osborne are swimming in the same direction.

And Brown? well, he's on his last legs, the ref should jump in and stop it...one more solid hook will politically finish him for good.

Sorry for all the allegory, have had to rewrite this post twice as it almost came across a bit 'Sion Simon' (regular readers of political betting will know of what I am referring to!) and no, Osborne hasn't been paying me to write this. Though if you do somehow get to read this George, you can find the donate button down the page on the right hand side, all donations gratefully recieved!

Treasury Budget Leak

A thank you from your host

2009-09-16T02:38:00.002+01:00

In the last couple of days, the number of people following my blog has nearly doubled. I'd like to thank the newcomers for joining the most jiving, happening blog since Guess Her Muff (Thanks for the tip, Rab! ;) ) and my older followers for sticking through my inane nonsense. But most of all, I'd like to thank The Paedofinder General...and this cheeky bottle of wine I've just polished off in Keith Floyd's honour. Onwards and upwards my flock!

Man promises to tell the truth...then doesn't

2009-09-15T15:37:00.002+01:00

It had been hyped up so much...'Gordon's finally going to tell the truth'...'he's going to say the 'C' word, etc. What a bloody letdown.

He basically pulled his pants down, bent over and gave the TUC permission to cornhole him like he was a drunken prostitute (Well, the speech was in Albert Dock so maybe that had something to do with it). Not for Gordon to say 'Sorry folks....I fucked up and now I'm going to fix it. No, far easier to be 'Gordon Brown : Saviour of the World (tm)'.

I'll do a simple fisk of Brown's speech.

*I've saved the world once I'll do it again!
*We took action that might (Fucking MIGHT?) save 500,000 jobs
*The Tories would do nothing
*Tory Cuts, Labour investment
*Because it's the right thing to do
*I'm going to spend a fuckload of money adding another 21,000 public sector apprentices
*And I'm going to put it in the statute books so it will be law
One issue with this is that first he has to get it through both houses of parliament before the general election, that clearly isn't going to happen as his party lost the appetite for a fight ages ago. Secondly, it'll be repealed once Cameron takes the reins, so a futile and expensive gesture which won't actually go anywhere

Thanks for that Gordon, now fuck off. Sheerman get your arse in gear, a desperate nation needs you. Brown in place may be good for the size of the Tory majority but the nation's interests come first. Another labour leader may not be quite as damaging.

Paxo's back!

2009-09-14T22:34:00.004+01:00

Was it the threat of Nick Robinson taking over? Whatever it is, Paxman's got his mojo back over the last two weeks. He's actually being thorough with his questioning rather than just being irrascible from the outset.

He was thorough on all his interviews tonight and did quell the flow of bullshit coming from Bradshaw and Dobson. Thought Lamont came out well (Not being biased, despite his reputation from his time as chancellor he is actually a very good economic thinker) and put his points across in a reasoned way unlike the spurious dribbling of a rabid Frank Dobson who seemed like he'd swallowed a handle of uppers in the green room before the start of the programme.

PS. I love what that mayor of Doncaster is doing. No messing, saving the public's dosh and getting shot of Union pork-barrel positions.

Oh and someone explain to me in layman terms how cutting the public sector is damaging to the economy? Surely the only figure that really matters is growth or contraction in the private sector as that's what generates our wealth and pays the public purse anyway.

Where will this ISA madness end?

2009-09-13T15:31:00.002+01:00

Here's where :-

Get rid of this stupid law now!

A man for all seasons

2009-09-12T18:19:00.005+01:00

There are times when I just love being a Manchester United Fan, I'm also proud to be a Welshman and on some glorious days, I am able to combine the two. What's all this drivel in aid of, you may ask? (You may not even care! TOugh tits, I'm telling you anyway!) It's about a man...but not just any man, a remarkable athlete, a fantastic role-model and professional. The most successful footballer in the history of Britain and an all-round niceguy and family man to boot. I am of course referring to Ryan Giggs, footballer and record-breaker extraordinaire.

Why have I chosen to laud him today? What more could he have achieved after such a glittering career? He has made the most appearances for a United player (811), won more league titles than any other player (12) and until today was the only player who had scored in every season since the inception of the Premier league in 1992/93 (He also scored in the 2 seasons preceeding it too). A record of longevity at the very top that is only bettered by the great Paolo Maldini of Milan and Italy.

Well today, he just extended one of those records when he scored in yet another premier league season. And it was also his 149th goal as well so the 150 will be his next milestone to reach. Giggsy, I salute you! And lets hope there is a couple more seasons of memories for you to provide us.

Tim Montgomerie (Yes he of ConHome) also runs a United blog, Mustbered and is currently running a petition to get Ryan knighted. If you haven't signed this, then please do so. To my knowledge no player has been made a Sir whilst still playing, if any player ever deserved to break that, than it would be him. Personally, I'd make the man a Lord. Wouldn't that sound good being read out by an announcer...'No.11 Lord Giggs of Salford & Ely', let's make it happen!

CORRECTION

Ryan has only won 11 league titles...we'll have to wait a few more months for his 12th! And have just seen his goal on MOTD. It was a peach!

Back to the future

2009-09-12T16:59:00.002+01:00

Hat-tip to Dazed & Confused for finding this youtube clip. I'm a euro-sceptic but not a ranting better-off-outer usually. But when I watched this video I found it hard to disagree with the points being made. The people of the EU are by and large sleepwalking into this future disaster, hoodwinked by the politicians who profess to look after their interests.

Thatcher and the right faced down and ultimately won against the Soviet Union. The task facing Cameron and the right of centre politicians of today will be more difficult. They have to stop the insidious enemy within that seeks to turn nations in europe into the political rquivalents of the likes of Arkansas, but without the pesky checks and balances of democracy. Mind you, I think I could handle being an oligarch, with my yacht, football club, money grabbing nymphomaniac wife, etc.

Here's to the next 30

2009-09-10T19:58:00.003+01:00

I've just read this article on the BBC website about the party held to honour Frank Field's 30th year in Parliament. It was attended by friends and admirers from all sides of the house, most notably Lady Thatcher and present Home Secretary Alan Johnson. That one man could be popular with two people from such opposite ends of the political spectrum says all about the qualities of the man. A maverick who's never been afraid to speak his mind and is a beacon in the house of commons for all new MP's to aspire to. That he has been treated so shabbily by the Labour party during their time in office has been a travesty. I suppose the one advantage of them denying him the speakers role which he would have excelled at with effortless neutrality is that will not stop him speaking his mind on the issues that matter to him in parliament. He is the most non-partisan member in the entire commons chamber and when he does get up to speak, it would do other members good to listen. That his time as a minister was cut short is a shame. He was asked by Tony Blair to 'think the unthinkable' on welfare reform. Well, he thought it and then honestly spoke his mind...and Brown, Harman and the labour left crucified him for it. Still, when Labour is reduced to a rump at the next election it is nice to know that Field will still likely be there, except less likely to be drowned out by the present rows of mediocrity and he will still be a man worth listening too. Here's to the next 30 years Frank.

Why no comment?

2009-09-09T22:59:00.003+01:00

I've just had the misfortune of browsing a labour blog called Aneurin Glyndwr. I'm not going to link to it as I wouldn't encourage people to read that crap but I'll just give you the gist of it, the biggest pile of regurgitated Labour shit since Prezza's last motion. But the real problem I've got with it is not the rubbish that's being blogged, it's the fact that he doesn't allow comments.

Now, if you want to write rubbish, it's your choice....hell, sometimes it's my choice too. But to turn off comments szo that people can't take you to task is just cowardly. If anybody does know this blogger tell him (or her) to grow a pair and allow comments so that someone can challenge his spin and smears. No wonder the valleys are starting to desert Labour with people like this fighting for them.

Good Economy debate on Newsnight

2009-09-08T22:48:00.003+01:00

When I say good debate I am of course referring to Paxman, Hammond and Cable. Why did Liam Byrne bother showing up, like his incompetent master he has proved incapable of answering a question. What a chump.

At least Hammond and Cable were prepared to say what areas they would look at and cut. Byrne spouted some rubbish about waiting to announce things to parliament first which will be a novel innovation for this government as it's usually The Guardian, The Mirror and the BBC before parliament. He doesn't realise that the debate over cuts was won nearly a year ago, the public knows and accepts cuts must be made. The Tories won the argument, the liberals followed the prevailing wind but Labour have turned up late to the party, drunk and incoherent and are about to be ejected for groping someone else's mum.

I'd say that Hammond put on a slightly better performance than the grand sage Cable, bu that may be my bias. Nevertheless, a very strong performance from the man doomed to be the most unpopular member of the next tory administration for having to do the necessary and think the unthinkable.

UPDATE

Fraser Nelson and Andrew Rawnsley were even better than the politicians. Nelson has mentioned this 20% cuts plan alledgedly being drawn up by the Civil service. It'll be interesting to find out if this is the case. With cuts of that scale, it'll definitely be structured so that no essentuial and backline services get chopped first. This could be useful as no-one wants to see frontline staff get it in the neck while their layabout managers continue to collect their inflated wages and pension packages.

He gets it...do any other MPs?

2009-09-08T14:08:00.003+01:00

Hat-tip to Ben Brogan at the Daily Telegraph for bringing this to my attention. I missed David Cameron's speech buth through Brogan and Conservativehome I've been able to get the details of what he said. Hopefully Conhome will get a link to the full video of the speech up soon. (I've seen some brief clips on the bbc's site, including an excellent gag at the libdem's expense).

What Cameron has done is outlined how the conservatives plan to reduce the burden of politics to the taxpayer by weilding the spending axe in the house of commons. Here's a list of the pledges that I've taken from Conhome :-

* Ministerial salaries will be cut by an immediate five percent, but on top of that, those salaries will be frozen for the lifetime of the next Parliament - "That means a further pay cut when inflation is taken into account and a saving of over a quarter of a million pounds a year for the taxpayer".
* Taxpayers’ cash will no longer subsidise politicians' food and drink, with the cost of food and drink in Parliament "being increased to match the prices normal people pay in cafes, restaurants and bars around the country". That will, he said, save £5.5 million.
* The budget for official government cars will be cut by a third. He said: "There are times when having a car to hand which gets a minister to a certain place on time is absolutely vital to our democratic process – for example, to make a vote in the House of Commons, or to meet a foreign dignitary or open a school. But there is no need for 171 of these cars to be on hand for every government minister, whip – and indeed, myself."
* Public sector bodies will be stopped from hiring consultants to lobby politicians, to save £10 million a year.
* He also demanded that the Electoral Commission must be run more efficiently, saying it had overreached its role "with advertising campaigns and wasteful marketing initiatives" and that under the proposed quango review, "we will identify all the unnecessary functions it has assumed and see what savings we can make for the taxpayer".
* A Conservative Government would also demand that the Parliamentary authorities must cut costs by ten per cent, banking the taxpayer £50 million.

Now this would save millions, which may seem like small-fry compared to our £200 billion plus deficit but it's a start and if he takes this approach with other avenues of public sector spending, those billions will rapidly add up. And to make a start on that he also pledged :-

* each and every quango having to justify its existence
* every item of government spending over £25,000 to be published online
* all public sector salaries over £150,000 to be published online
* opposing new MPs getting a final salary pension scheme
* getting rid of the £10,000 yearly ‘Communications Allowance’ that every MP gets
* abolishing Regional Assemblies
* scrapping the Standards Board for England
* reducing the number of MPs by 10%

Now the savings made by slashing the quangocracy alone will make a healthy dent in public sector expenditure and will also make ministers have more responsibility on their own shoulders. It is an excellent statement of intent, but also puts some meat on the bones of what he actually would do in power. If Labour had any sense they would attempt to get these suggestions implemented over the next parliament and I'm sure Cameron would welcome that.

But what this has demonstrated most for me is that Cameron gets it, he understands what has gone wrong with Westminster and in the public sector at large. And he's also shown he's got the gumption to sort it out. He's not going to be poular with quangocrats and public sector empire builders but he'll sort out the mess. He may not be the neo-thatcherite many on the right of his party craves, but he is someone who sees a problem for what it is and is prepared to go to the heart of the problem and solve it without too much bullshit...and of that Lady T would most certainly approve.

Make up your minds

2009-09-07T12:01:00.003+01:00

Ed Balls. He does like to talk bollocks doesn't he. He's now claimed 'None of us wanted to see Al-Megrahi released. Completely contradicting Brown and Miliband who had 'no desire to see Al-Megrahi die in prison'. Who's telling the truth...any of them? All Blinky has done is keep the story stoked for another few news cycles.

New Labour, the survival instinct of Lemmings! Oh No!

Dead Man Walking

2009-09-04T14:28:00.003+01:00

Jesus, Brown's speech was dull. After the first five minutes I was losing the will to live. It had everything, jaw-dropping, tractor stats (134% increase in helicopter flying hours isn't a lot when you consider the amount of flying hours was fuck all to begin with! We've blown up two of our 'copters just recently, that's going to help isn't it?), pig-headedness, etc. And he's stuck around for questions, astounding!

Will these labour plotters pull their fingers out of their arses and get shot of this putrid man?

Help cut Iain Dale down to size...literally!

2009-09-03T14:24:00.004+01:00

Iain Dale has decide to go on a sponsored slim and lose two stones in weight for the excellent charity HELP FOR HEROES. He is attempting to raise £2,500 but I hope he can go way beyond that. Now to help Iain along everyone should give him encouragement and keep him motivated. To all you political bloggers and readers of blogs, if you see Iain at any of the party conferences coming up yand he's trying to sneak a creambun, danish, choccies, etc. Do him a favour and give him a slap on the chops and tell him to man up and be strong!

Click HERE to donate and please be as generous as you can.

Farage vs Bercow

2009-09-03T13:45:00.004+01:00

So Nigel Farage has decided to run against Speaker of the house John 'Smeagol' Bercow in his buckingham constituency. This could prove to be the most interesting seat in the entire general election. The three main parties are extremely unlikely to put up a candidate against the speaker, giving UKIP a free run at this. The poison dwarf has a majority of 18000 and this is strong blue territory, plus the office of speaker would usually favour the incumbant but this could become a lot more interesting. Until he was elected Speaker, Bercow had no profile to speak of, he was known in his constituency but that was about it. Farage, on the other hand, has a very large media profile. He's outspoken and gets acres of press considering UKIP's relatively low national standing (Euro elections excluded). The tories in the constituency will be all to aware of Farage, some may have been tempted to vote UKIP anyway, they are in a stronger position than in 2005. Other's may have shared UKIP's views on europe but preferred to stay within the Tory camp. With Bercow's election to speaker this quandry will have dissipated. Bercow has sided up to the Labour party for years and underwent a damascene conversion from being being the dryest of the dry to the wettest Tory in the party, it was even rumoured that he had contemplated crossing the floor (Pressed on by his labour supporting wife, though I can sympathise; if I was nose to tit with my beloved I'd probably be making stupid decisions at her beckoning too but sadly Uncle Bob has yet to find the 7 foot Valkyrie required for such a task!), this has reportedly angered many conservative members in his local assosociation and with the tories not running there is nothing to stop them giving nudge nudge, wink wink support to Farage. He also used this relationship with Labour to get himself the Speaker's chair. He was also as much a trougher as anyone and Farage is bound to bring up expenses and an anti-politician line. The media will big up Farage as it'll generate them headlines and don't forget, as Leader of UKIP he will be a presence on the BBC and Sky anyway, but this will get ramped up even before as he may possibly pull off the biggest election night story of all. Apparently you can get 4/1 at the bookies on him. He isn't certain of overhauling the dwarf but I think the result will be mighty close as UKIP throws a lot of it's resources at this (and don't forget, Bercow can't totally rely on Tory help any more).

It'll certainly be one to watch

Best placed to handle the recession

2009-09-03T12:18:00.003+01:00

What a wheeze, that Brown is a card isn't he. Turns out we aren't best placed at all and for the last decade he's turned our economy to rat-shit! You want proof? From the Times.

"

Fears that Britain is emerging more slowly from recession than other economies were stoked yesterday with figures showing that UK factory output dropped last month.

The figures came as similar data for the United States, China and France pointed to an expansion in manufacturing activity in those countries, while Germany’s factories were also highlighted as being in recovery mode.

Figures published by the Chartered Institute of Purchasing and Supply (CIPS) revealed that UK manufacturing activity, which had been expanding during the previous five months, contracted in August.

The CIPS/Markit survey of purchasing managers in manufacturing — where a reading above 50 indicates expansion and below 50 indicates contraction — fell from 50.8 in July to 49.7 in August. The July figures were revised downwards to 50.2.
Combined with disappointing lending data from the Bank of England, the surprisingly weak figures helped to send the FTSE 100 index down 89.20 points to 4,819.70. On currency markets, sterling was down against the dollar, with the pound trading later in the session at a six-week low of $1.6137.

Economists focused on the gloomy aspects of the survey, including confirmation that manufacturers were continuing to cut jobs. Colin Ellis, at Daiwa Securities, said: “These numbers are a reminder that the economy is nowhere near out of the woods yet.”

Elsewhere, hopes that the global economy is emerging from the worst recession since the Second World War were given new impetus with strong manufacturing data from both the US and China.

America’s factories have returned to growth for the first time in more than 18 months, while China’s giant manufacturing sector is growing at its fastest rate since the collapse of Lehman Brothers and the start of the global financial crisis a year ago.

French factories reported their first expansion in activity since May last year. German manufacturers also reported an improvement.

The figures from the US were seen as the most dramatic. The Institute for Supply Management (ISM) reported a reading of 52.9 for its manufacturing index in August, the first since January last year to exceed 50. The ISM said that new orders, new export orders and production had all risen.

Agreed US home sales, which have now risen for a record six consecutive months, rose in July to their highest level in two years.

But suspicions that the figures had already been priced into the market sent Wall Street sharply lower. The Dow Jones industrial average closed down 185.68 at 9,310.60 and the S&P 500 finished down 22.58 at 998.04.

In Shanghai, shares rose after Monday’s rout, as figures pointing to further expansion in Chinese manufacturing helped to calm nerves."

Thanks Gordon.

General Election Debate

2009-09-02T12:57:00.007+01:00

Never mind Al-Megrahi, Brown and Milibands position et al. The news that has lit up the blogosphere to day has been this :-

You can sign the petition in support of it HERE.

Sky have formally invited the leaders of our three main political parties to a debate in the run up to the general election.

David Cameron, who realistically would have the most to lose in a debate agreed to take part immediately, but anyone who's seen footage of a CameronDirect event on the net knows why, his ability to answer questions and debate whilst engaging with his audience is currently without equal.

Nick Clegg will almost certainly agree too, he needs the exposure that such a debate would bring as it legitimises him as a choice come election time.

All that leaves is Gordon Brown, that man of courage and deep conscience. He really should agree, his party is in a desperate position, Mandleson already tried to commit him to it in July. But, then again, he does like to shy away from such things. Only this time Sky have said that any of the leaders who refuse to participate will be empty-chaired (I doubt they would take the HIGNFY 'Roy Hattersley/Tub o'lard' line even though it would be amusing). With that, it is almost certainly forcing Brown's hand.

If Macavity does bottle it again, perhaps they could put a picture of him in his place. Something like this would do :-

UPDATE

Cleggy's on board. Just waiting on Macavity now.

UPDATE II

Saw an excellent suggestion on Politicalbetting.com from Andrew G about also having some smaller debates on specific policy debates with Ministers and their prospective replacements.

Imagine debates like:-

Economy Osborne vs. Darling vs. Cable
Foreign Policy Hague vs. Miliband vs. Ed Davey
Education Gove vs. Balls vs. Laws
Health Lansley vs. Burnham vs. Lamb
Defence Fox vs. Ainsworth vs. Harvey

Sky might not want to give up so much time for these but there's nothing to stop the BBC running a series of Newsnight or QuestionTime specials, is there? It would be good for the public and at least people would know what people would stand for. People may moan this would exclude other parties but since these are the only three with any hope of forming a government it's just tough tits to everyone else.

Bullshit detector

2009-09-01T22:04:00.002+01:00

I'm very good at reading people and am rarely wrong. I've just seen Bill Rammell on the 10 O'clock news and his sweaty, blinking performance has got my spidey sense tingling. I call bullshit and think this story is going to grow and grow.

Stat porn....lite

2009-09-01T13:27:00.003+01:00

I can't really be bothered to do Statporn, in fact I've only been measuring traffic to this blog since the 12th of August and my traffic is still meagre, though growing all the time thanks to you good people.

Since starting monitoring I've had 88 unique individuals (Ha! In your face, Iain and Guido!) view the site and I now have 7 wise, learned and noble individuals following the site. My ego is sufficiently sated and I shall commence ramping up the posts once conference season starts. Keep the faith my flock!

Newnight education debate

2009-08-27T23:16:00.003+01:00

Very interesting debate on education in tonight's edition of newsnight. Thought the Teacher that they had on underlined the problem best. A C grade in english 10 years ago was around the same standard as an A grade now and today's C grade would have only got an E 10 years ago. A drastic adjustment on standards needs to undertaken by the next administration (Ed Balls is going to do 'sweet FA' as his article in the guardian showed. The League tables here mean bugger all, the fact that we are slipping down the international league tables in English, Maths and Science is far more important.

An important anniversary

2009-08-26T11:05:00.004+01:00

Today is an important anniversary in the history of England and Wales. It's the anniversary of the Battle of Crécy in 1346 where severely outnumbered and seemingly doomed our forces slaughtered around 14 thousand of the French for only 300 losses (both figures are historical estimates) because of the use of (predominately Welsh) longbowmen. It is also rumoured to have given birth to the famed 'V-sign', that ultimate gesture of defiance as alledgedly, the French knights had threatened to cut off the two bow drawing fingers of any archer captured so the archers waved them at the French in a symbol of defiance. As the french approached they were cut down by thousands of arrows raining on them. This tactic was also a decisive factor in the battles of Poitiers and later in the now legendary battle of Agincourt. The skill of the longbowman was also the reason that Owain Glyndwr was able to successfully stage a rebellion against English rule for over a decade (Though his men tended to use the longbow with guerrilla surprise attacks rather than conventional battles). Until the development of armour that succesfully repel these powerfully struck arrows, the two drawing fingers of a longbowman were probably the most deadly weapon in the history of warfare.

Why have I brought this up today? Well, this week we found out that our net contribution to the EU was going to increase by 60% to over 6 billion pounds (thanks Tony!) whilst the French have steadfastly refused to reform their CAP subsidies so I feel the urge to send them a little message...walk up to the Champs Elysee and flick v'd at any Frenchman I see. I may even enquire about the return of Calais and the Aquitaine while I'm there. The poiny of this story is that we never used to surrender to the cheese eating fops all those years ago, we should stop doing it now. In fact, I'd love to see an economist analyze the cost 6to our economy of leaving the EU, I honestly think we may not see an overall impact at all. So for one final flourish :-

Lol! Some days it's good to be me

2009-08-24T22:27:00.004+01:00

I'm not one to gloat at other people's misfortunes but the news that Liverpool lost another game tonight did bring a smile to my face. I thought it was supposed to be their year? It wasn't just me that found it funny. Sir Alex Ferguson and Lord Giggs of Salford and Ely (A knighthood's not enough for him! He's always been an over-achiever!) had a good giggle too.

Oh and in politics, SNP justice minister was made to eat shit in public at Holyrood and McAvity Brown still is in hiding. Oh, and another bad poll for labour too. So I bet a few others are laughing too!

Tie me kangaroo down

2009-08-23T20:06:00.002+01:00

Ricky Ponting, Shane Warne, Merv Hughes, Joe Mangle, Dame Edna, Kylie Minogue,Crocodile Dundee...Crocodile Dundee! Your boys took one hell of a beating!

Good old Tommy Atkins

2009-08-23T11:05:00.003+01:00

First off, a big hat-tip to Ollie Cromwell at the Red Rag for bringing this to my attention.

As many of you will be aware, several Labour figures have been attempting to smear the head of the british armed forces General Sir Richard Dannatt because of his criticisms of the MOD's support to our troops. Their latest effort was to try and dig up some dirt on his expenses, just days before his retirement. Now, the good general is understandably miffed and, displaying the combined tactical nous of Julius Ceasar, Oddyseus and Uncle Bob (à la the Total War series of games) he has pulled a veritable flanker, publishing his expenses online and spiking our defence ministers' guns as reported in THIS article in the Telegraph. His expenses were about £5000 a year which considering part of his role involves entertaining foreign dignitaries and diplomats is remarkable. The man even shops at Lidl's for these things for christ's sake (Not that there's anything wrong with Lidl's, better fruit and veg than any of the major supermarkets and they sell Lobster at a fantastic price!).

Sir Richard is now just days from retirement after 38 years of serving this country in several theatres of war yet our government sees fit to try and sully his flawless reputation. But here's the thing, we the british public truly love our soldiers. They get sent into harms way, in the most dangerous environments of war, often under-equipped and under-manned though always with the best training in the world. We know this, they know this and yet the soldiers go anyway. Even if the country does not support the war, we back our troops unfailingly (Witness the dignified way the town of Wootton Bassett line the streets of the funeral processions for our soldiers several times a week). What General Dannatt has had the temerity to do is be honest with the public and ask the Mod for the equipment and manpower needed to do the job. So what have labour done, well, what they do best of course they've attacked and attempted to smear him. They are acting like sub-human scum. I have drafted off a letter to my MP, a junior foreign office minister explaining my feelings towards the defence secretary and his staff for their reprehensible actions.

I wonder if the General has considered a role in politics now his military career is over. Perhaps he could run against smearer inc chief Kevan Jones. I'm sure the other two major parties would give him a free run against the mendacious little shit or failing that, put the two together in alocked room for twenty minutes as a leaving present for Sir Richard.

Unlike the present government, this blog supports our troops!

Get our acts together?

2009-08-20T23:42:00.002+01:00

I've just spotted a link on Iain Dale's 'Daley Dozen' from welsh conservative blogger asking us welsh anti-socialists (conservatives to you, though I'm more of a temporary fixture in conservative terms. I've decided to go blue, but they'll have to do well to keep me!) to get our act together and be more organised and vocal online. I hope he succeeds in this endeavour and I will try and do my bit, as long as it can be done with a minimum of effort. After all, I am still trying to find gainful employment, study for an OU degree, write a novel and play in a rock band as well, so like the last scraps of flora, I'm spread pretty thin. But come on, if we all do a little bit we can get the present government ousted and deny the dreadful nationalists an enhanced platform. I may even blog on welsh issues occasionally which'll be different because I find the goings on at the assembly as dull as dishwater normally. All the will in the world won't turn my constituency blue though. It's the one seat in Wales which will remain unwinnable for decades. Do the tories even have a candidate in the Rhondda yet? Not that I'm volunteering, I'm a bad loser.

Man the ramparts.

2009-08-19T13:25:00.000+01:00

I have read two excellent pieces on blogging by Mike Smithson and Tim Montgomerie on the mainstream media's attack on blogging, including a particularly deluded piece in the Financial Times. Tim in particular laid out a brilliant 7 point defence of blogs and bloggers :-

1. It's true that some people who use the internet only read blogs/ sites that reinforce their views but I now read The Guardian, Independent, FT and a whole range of left-wing new media when in the pre-internet age I only really read one or two (right-of-centre) newspapers each day.
2. All opinions are represented in the blogosphere. All barriers to entry have been blown away. Take ConHome's Platform blog. Voices never heard before are now heard by the leadership of the Conservative Party and beyond. Power has been transferred from a small Westminster class to 'a wiser crowd' and the transfer has only just begun (and will accelerate as the mainstream media retreats behind payment walls).
3. The mainstream media is held to account. This is one of the blogosphere's most important functions. Shoddy or biased journalism is now exposed instantly. Cosy relations between certain journalists and titles meant a lack of scrutiny between old media organs. Pre-blogosphere people had to wait days in the hope that their letter might be published in a newspaper that had misled or misrepresented. The right to reply was often never given and very often never in full. Fisking is one of the blogosphere's great innovations.
4. Blogs also hold other blogs to account. It's true that a lot of blogs write a lot of rubbish but plenty of other bloggers exist to point this out whenever it happens.
5. Not all blogs are same. Yes, some are tribal and deceitful. Some newspapers can also be described in those terms. Blogs are at least as different from each other as the FT is from the Daily Star. Guido Fawkes, Iain Dale and ConHome are invariably lumped together but they are very different products.
6. Blogs are often more specialist and, in a good way, more obsessive than anything in the mainstream media. PoliticalBetting and UKPollingReport on polling, Defence of the Realm on military issues, John Redwood on economic policy and Burning Our Money on government waste are stand out examples of this.
7. The blogosphere is often attacked for passing instant judgment but it also can debate topics for longer and in more detail than any traditional newspaper. ConHome's sustained examination of the next generation of Conservative MPs and Harry Phibbs' scrutiny of Tory councils, for example, are unmatched by traditional newspapers (who are replacing political coverage with more and more lifestyle journalism).

I shall now add my own take on it too.

I'm a blogger, I don't think of myself as an investigative journalist. I have no desire to be the next Woodward or Bernstein. I am merely a voice. An opinion. The news on my blog is largely secondhand. I state my views and invite others to leave their comments and set out their own opinions, which is nice and democratic. I link to other bloggers (See my links toolbar on the righthand side of this page) so that others views can be heard too. I don't just link to bloggers who always share my viewpoint, there are others there who would often disagree with my views but I still would recommend reading. Like other bloggers I am an important act of balance, because quite often the MSM either are mistaken, or are being deliberately deceitful about a piece of news. For I am not beholden to the SpAds and spackers of government for my news. I search for it myself and with access to the internet am easily able to check the printed statements of journalist with actual facts. The MSM are going after bloggers for two simple reasons :-

1.> We don't charge, we give our opinions freely and don't care how many people read it (Though all donations gratefully accepted!).

2.> We have shown up many mainstream journalists for their failures and acts of incompetence.

At the end of the day, this country needs a strong blogging community. We are the last bastion against spin and the manipulation of public opinion. They may try to distort what we say, run us down, marginalise and ultimately break us...but they will fail. For we are bloggers, we are un-bloody-breakable!

NB, I admit to nicking that last bit from Gene Hunt but I think the gentle act of plagiarism was worth it!