Winners and Losers - Election 2010

In all walks of life there has to be winners and losers, this is true also in politics. So who made out like Bandits and who are walking away with the consolation prizes?

Politician of the Campaign : 2 weeks in it would have gone to Cleggover, but for his consistency and clarity of message and for being one of the calmest heads in the post election maelstrom, step forward...Michael Gove

Moment of the Campaign : It has to be 'Bigotgate'. Has a moment ever summed up the problem with a party and a particular politician such as this? It might not have had much of a polling impact but it will never be forgotten. If Brown had spoken about my Nan like that he'd have needed a few more people on his close protection team. Poor old Mrs Duffy.


Journalist of the Campaign : Honourable mentions must go to Andrew Neil and Jeff Randall, the two most feared journalists in Broadcasting who always manage to ask the questions the politicians dread. But my award goes to Adam Boulton for finally cutting through New Labours spin, smears and innuendos and exposing people like Bad Al Campbell and Ben Bradshaw for being mendacious bastards.

News Channel of the Campaign : While I enjoyed election night in HD, I'm going to have to plump for GUY NEWS! In what was supposed to be the internet election, this was one of the few net highlights.


Blogger of the Campaign : I have to give it to Guido. He might be mainstream but he still manages to be the most underground blogger around with impeccable sources throughout the whole political sphere. His comment pages tend to make '2 Girls/1 Cup' seem civilised at times but it's his own posts that make him the first blog to load up when you log on every day.

Top Totty of the Campaign : This one was easy. That wee Scottish pixie, Laura Kuennsberg. A winning combination of an accent that makes Uncle Bob go weak at the knees and a very dirty smile (as well as being one of the best 'on the ground' reporters at the moment) means that there's a space for her on (or over!) my knee.

The Big Winners - Obviously Dave Cameron gets a look in, finally achieving what few of us dared to hope for tonight, but my winner is You...and me, helll, the whole country! The Gorgon's gone...finally!

The Big Loser I could have picked Brown, Labour, Blinky's leadership ambitions but instead I've opted for a man who thought he could control everything but turns out he couldn't spin a top anymore...the Dark Lord himself, Baron Mandleson of Foy and Hartlepool, First secretary of state, Business and University Secretary, Spinner Excselsior. His plans are in tatters and he can bother our country no more. Rejoice!

Any minute now!!!!

It looks like Labour's resolve is crumbling, first Kate Hoey adding to the growing list of labour figures and now John Pienaar claiming No 10 is giving up the ghost. Pop those corks people, it's happening!

Boris, I've already voted mate.

Nice to see Boris is sending me friendly emails as well as Dave, Eric and George. You can tell he's wrote it himself as well...evoking the memories of Churchill and shoring troop morale ahead of D-Day. But there was really no need, I voted for my local conservative candidate at 10 o'clock this morning. Still, if you're reading this and haven't then bloody well do so.

The only thing I want to see Gordon Brown in charge of tomorrow is farmy farm...and that'll probably end up in an Orwellian coup!

A quick hark back to Labour's halcyon days

This may very well be my favourite piece of journalism in history. The more I read it the better it gets. Ladies and gentlemen...Sion Simon!

D-Day

This is usually the point where most bloggers like me will tell you to go out and vote for whichever party they follow tomorrow. I'm just asking that you place a vote for whoever you want, because if you don't you forfeit the right to piss and moan about the government you end up with...

...though if people are still seriously considering voting Labour I think there are good grounds to have them sectioned! Me, I'm voting Tory. As I live in the Rhondda it won't make a blind bit of difference but I can't bring myself to vote for the trots, their welsh language version or the limp dems. UKIP? While I agree with the out of Europe bit I could never bring myself to vote for someone whose first name is Taffy.

I'm still hoping that alongside the blessed castration of Balls (Ed that is!), he will be joined by Chris Huhne and his perfectly pressed trousers.

In fact I'd like to see total Labour annihilation, save Frank Field. Still when we cut the Unions off from the public teat I'm sure Labour will soon go belly-up.